The Kids Are All Right (2010)

Joni (Mia Wasikowska) and Laser (Josh Hutcherson), the children of same-sex parents Nic (Annette Bening) and Jules (Julianne Moore), become curious about the identity of their sperm-donor dad Paul,(Mark Ruffalo) and set out to make him part of their family unit, often with hilarious results. But his arrival complicates the household dynamics, and nobody is sure how he fits in, if at all.

After I finally sat down and watched The Kids Are All Right, the next day I asked my friend what he thought of it. He immediately responded with “The one with the two dykes?” Initially I laughed it off, but when thinking about it, that really may be one of the better ways to describe the film. Its story of a family struggling to hold itself together is all caused by the simple fact that the women are lovers. It is about the only thing that separates the story from average. Otherwise, it’s just another fairly average family drama.  

The film is essentially broken into two parts that unravel at the same destination at the end. The fascination of a child to want to find their birth parents is nothing new for stories, but never before has there been a cooler one than Mark Ruffalo, Jules seems to have the same train of thought here. With the arrival of Paul, worlds begin to flip upside down. Everyone outside of Nic seems to enjoy him; He is the variable she just cannot control and that frustrates her to high hell.  You see despite being in a homosexual relationship, the standard roles are still there. Nic is the demanding “husband” that pays the bills, while Jules is the underappreciated stay at home “mother”. I guess the film is trying to tell us dykes are no different than the normal couple; big shocker there.

I have to wonder where all the recognition comes from. Annette Benning as Nic gives a good performance, but Oscar worthy? I don’t see it. The star here is Mark Ruffalo who despite being the bad guy is too damn likeable to dislike. It actually disappoints you when they leave his fate up in the air. You want him to win and be happy despite the trouble he has caused and the moronic decisions he makes.

After it’s all said and done, The Kids Are All Right, well, was simply alright. It gathered a shitload of recognition that seems a bit much. He is barely an interesting film and it moves at a much slower pace than you’d like. This felt like that annual indie film that is praised to be something it is not. Others may end up enjoying it, but it just is not my cup of tea.

Overall Score: 5/10

Thor (2011)

Kenneth Branagh directs this Marvel Comics-inspired action flick about the thunder god Thor (Chris Hemsworth), a powerful warrior whose father, Odin (Anthony Hopkins) -- the king of Asgard -- forces him to live among humans on Earth and learn humility. Once there, he finds a friend (Natalie Portman), along with unexpected enemies sent from his world.

What is there to actually like about Thor? Most of the time a film centered around the Gods and their mystical powers always wind up being high on cheesy CGI effects and low on actual plot development. Here not only does Marvel have to do the difficult task of translating Thor on screen, but they have to do it in a way that it fits into their eventual Avengers mash-up last year. That constant reminder that there will be an Avengers film ruined Iron Man 2 with its random Shield and Fury appearances. You are still reminded of this mash-up a lot during Thor, but they handle it a lot better here by actually having it roll within the plot rather than it feeling like an unnecessary cameo.

Anyway, going back to Thor, he may have the most unrealistic story, development, and origin than all of the other heroes, but here it feels as realistic as you could possibly achieve. Everything they show you, tell you, and revealed to you makes sense so that it can allow you to believe it could happen, even though it’s just not possible. You have to allow your imagination to run with it. The main plot may be unoriginal with the jealous younger brother wanting the crown for himself, but the banishment of Thor to earth for “rebirth” and the actual character development they give to the villain make it feel fresh and exciting. One of the best, if not the best, type of villain you can create is one who never is truly evil; he once was a good man who did terrible things for all the right reasons. This relationship these two brothers share is what stands out most and watching the two of them transform into their most powerful beings is a shining moment for Marvel. They have taken what should have failed and turned it into their best work to date.

Most of that recognition has to belong to the three Gods of War. Chris Hemsworth as Thor nails it, regardless if he is playing the cocky war hero or the sentimental prince. He can flick back and forth without hesitation. I might add his time spent on earth is downright hilarious. At times you’d thought this was a comedy. His brother Loki, played by Tom Middleton, turns in a fine performance himself because he is a villain that you can come to understand and feel sympathy for, you know you can never root for him, but you hope he destroy the demons eating at him from within. Last but certainly not least is Anthony Hopkins as the King. The trailers made him look like complete shit, but he is just so damn awesome here. What should’ve been the cheesiest role of all ends up being the glue that holds these two brothers together. While Portman was in it, I am quite positive they are saving her character development for a sequel because they just could not fit her in as much as they probably would have liked.

Well, Marvel has bounced back mightily from that setback titled Iron Man 2. Thor is the best mainstream superhero flick since The Dark Knight and now probably puts high expectations on Captain America. Thor may be hard to top and if the Captain can match 75% of what Thor accomplished here, Marvel should be riding high going into The Avengers. Fans of fun action films should flock to see this, it is easily one of the better films out this year and certainly one of the better comic book adaptions to the big screen.

Overall Score: 8.5/10

Fast Five (2011)

Vin Diesel and Paul Walker return for this fifth installment of the explosive Fast and the Furious series. Brian (Walker) and Mia (Jordana Brewster) break Dom (Diesel) out of prison, and they head to Brazil to put together a racing team to take on a drug dealer who wants to kill them. At the same time, they have to elude the capture of uncompromising federal agent Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson), who's been dispatched to Rio to take them down.

There is a thin line between a film that is absolute trash and one that is just one hell of a good time. Last year that film was The A-Team, and this year that film is called Fast Five, easily the best film in a terrible series that millions have a soft spot for, including myself. The series has never been about story or acting; it has always been about the stunts and the secretly gay testosterone you get while watching them.

Immediately, you are a witness to a shining example of what this series represents. Not only do they rob a train in the middle of a desert, they get the cars off the train with ease and no damage, then continue on to narrowly escape an explosion only to drive off a cliff and somehow survive the 300 foot drop because there is water down there. We know the water would present itself as cement at the type of drop, but we just choose to forget it because at least it looked bad fucking ass. These moments just pop up constantly and the stunts in Fast Five are just plain damn fun to watch. The epic finale has got to be one of the most ridiculous unrealistic complete shitty poorly written conclusions I have ever seen that I somehow ended up falling in love with. When you sit back and think of all the damage they should have caused and civilians that should have died; you cannot help but laugh at it.

The “plot” calls for one last job that will need plenty of man hours to pull off so they have a reason to bring back old faces to the franchise. I can honestly tell you Ludacris and Tyrese Gibson may be the two worst actors working today.  Even in a film like this where nothing really matters, there shit stinks so bad, you can’t help but notice it. The big addition to the film is the Rock. I am loving the roles he has chosen lately because they just allow him to be the action hero he is destined to be. Here he just plays an absolute meathead that just completely fucks anyone in his way. Good thing for us, Vin Deisel happens to be that guy. The two of them are just awesome together. Their fight scene is lengthy and a highlight in the film. The two also bring out the biggest laughs because there are moments went it honestly looks like they are about to strip down and fuck each other. Their bromance ends up providing so many unintentional laughs, that you’d think this was a comedy sometimes.

Fast Five is a good Michael Bay film without actually having Michael Bay. There are just stupidly yet awesome massive stunts and explosions, some of the worst dialogue you’ll ever hear, and some of the best comedy you will see all year. The Summer Season has begun and it couldn’t have started off with a bigger bang than Fast Five provided. Any action junkie will get a kick out of this; this can end up being an absolute blast if you walk into the film with the right mindset. The switch of genres from street racing to planning heist may be the best thing to happen to the series. I am confident in saying this is the best 5^th film in any series ever made.

Overall Score: 8/10

Blue Scores Add 3 Points to the actual Score for Being so awesome!!

Green Street Hooligans (2005)

 Drawn into a bogus drug scandal by his wealthy roommate, a high-achieving Harvard newspaper editor (Elijah Wood) is kicked out of school just a few months shy of getting his degree and flies to the United Kingdom to live with his sister (Claire Forlani) and her family. But his subsequent involvement with the local Green Street Elite -- a gang of violent soccer fans -- could change his life forever.

If only all of us could be a Green Street Hooligan. Then we would be living life to its fullest; drinking every night, no responsibilities, and getting into epic brawls with the other firms over something as silly as soccer. Only a film centered overseas could get pull something like this off yet still act completely serious the entire time.

 The fights were the draw to bring it an audience, it was the sole reason I wound up watching this in the first place, but when the film came to an end, I thought the brawls might have been the weakest parts of the film. Were they bad? No, but it just felt absurd they would fight over soccer. Sorry the American in me just will never understand the popularity of the sport. They were good to watch, but as soon as someone talked it killed the moment of the scene because these cheesy lines felt like a distraction to the brawl that was happening. How the hell does somebody have time for a speech in the middle of a street brawl? The film just could not hold back and ruined it with Hollywood –like additions.

The redeeming quality that could have saved the film from being miserable was its message of brotherhood. The bonds the members of the Green Street crew develop run much deeper than just soccer. It has become a way of life for them, specifically from the leader, Pete.  Charlie Hunnam as Pete is the entire film. His portrayal of the gang’s leader felt Oscar worthy standing next to everyone else. He just felt so natural in his part and turned himself into a character you come to enjoy. Everyone else seemed to force themselves into hardasses that either came off as stale or funny, either way it was hard to watch. Casting Elijah Wood as a badass was and still has got to be one of the worst castings I have seen that makes a movie instantly worse. Just didn’t gel with me.

Green Street Hooligans reminds me a lot of Boondock Saints. They have a cult following that claim the film is gold and you cannot convince them otherwise. I am not one of those fans. The fights were short and overhyped, and the story of an outsider turning into an insider just was not written in a way that makes it enjoyable. The sole reason to watch is to watch Charlie Hunnam kick ass in his natural accent. Cult fans enjoy!

Overall Score: 5/10

Hall Pass (2011)

Owen Wilson stars as a married man whose spouse (Jenna Fischer) grants him the right -- for just one week -- to pursue as many extramarital affairs as he can. His best buddy (Jason Sudeikis) receives an identical "hall pass" from his wife, and off the guys go. The hubbies soon discover, however, that picking up girls isn't as easy as they recall, while their better halves embark on their own erotic adventures.

Hall Pass is a funny movie any way you put it, but you will get the full experience if you have ever been married or in a long term relationship. Just about every joke relates back to that subject matter in some way. It can get repetitive but it will keep you laughing for a good portion of the film. At times though, the writing will be lazy and they just throw random things at the scene to force a laugh. It comes off as extremely cheap considering they have no problem at other parts to come up with something creative.

A lot of that comedy comes from the two leads.  This is a an adult comedy, so they can get away with practically anything they want, and boy do they use it. Much of the laughs don’t come from the absurd moments of the film, but rather from the simple bickering the two have back and forth about the ball and chain. Had the movie simply been Owen Wilson and Jason Sudeikis talking amongst each other, it would have been a hell of a comedy. It is not though and when these two are not on the screen, it feels bland and boring. They are the only reason the film works and trying focus on the wife’s point of view only dragged it into mediocrity. This is a guy’s film, so they make the mistake that we actual care what the wives are doing when we do not. It really dragged it down a notch.

This was a film that could be hilarious at times, but moments later having you roll your eyes a bit. When it flowed naturally with its leads, the movie works, but when it goes in a different direction, its borderline bad. As I said before experienced men will have a lot more fun with this film than others. If you are looking for a few hours to kill and a few laughs, look no further than this, it will accomplish just that but nothing more. Just remember to stay during the end credits; it is the best scene of the film.

Overall Score: 5/10

Water for Elephants (2011)

In this captivating Depression-era melodrama, impetuous veterinary student Jacob Jankowski (Robert Pattinson) joins a celebrated circus as an animal caretaker but faces a wrenching dilemma when he's transfixed by angelic married performer Marlena (Reese Witherspoon). An affinity for elephants brings together the young pair, but the warmth between them sends Marlena's cruel husband, animal trainer August (Christoph Waltz), into a frightening fury.

If I were to sit here and write solely on the plot of Water for Elephants, I would tell you how disappointing it turned out to be. The love triangle that is at the core of the story is rushed, underdeveloped, and has an anticlimactic farewell. It is far less interesting then it should be because they focus a good portion of the time on the circus itself. That is not a bad thing because the circus turns into a character of its own, but they should have either focused majority of its attention on one subject, rather than try to divide its focus between the two. The big disaster promised at the very start of the film may in fact be a major disaster but the short amount of time they spend with it makes it feel less dangerous than it was.  This bad taste may be left in your mouth, having the film leave less of an impact; harnessing your judgment on it more harshly than it should.

Thankfully the plot of the film takes a seat to the acting, characters, and the film’s universe. To say the acting was wonderful would be an understatement. Pattinson reveals that he can indeed succeed outside of those dreadful Twilight flicks. He throws his emotions out there and displays the loneliness his character has been thrown into. He develops chemistry with Witherspoon that helps show why they love each other despite the little development they get together. She continues to support the case that she needs to dramas over romantic comedies; she is wasting great talent on those shitty films; this role is where she belongs. The last of the triangle of characters is simply the best. Christoph Waltz may be a cast as a villain his entire career, but if he continues to excel at it, who honestly gives a fuck? Nobody can flip their intentions so effortlessly. He’ll hand you your dreams, then turn around destroy them without regret. Thank God Quentin Tarintino revealed this hidden talent to the world. We are better for it.

The circus itself ends up turning into a star of its own. Watching an empty field turn into a marvelous attraction is a sight to see. Finding out how a circus works and goes about its business keeps your focus. The amount of time spent with this setting helps you bond with everything that goes with it. Watching an animal you’ve spent time with being tortured and abused provide the highest moments of tension. It is good you feel something for them because that is exactly what they tried to do. The circus winds up being the very heart of the film.

Water for Elephants may not be the most exciting watch in the world, but it is a film that strives to be great at everything. A little better story and it would have accomplished that goal. This film should be added toy your list though for its great acting and the beautiful world it presents. It should leave feeling as if you have been welcomed into an entirely new experience.

Overall Score: 7.5/10

No Strings Attached (2011)

Emotionally unencumbered and sexually satisfied, friends with benefits Emma (Natalie Portman) and Adam (Ashton Kutcher) have an open relationship that suits them just fine. That is, until those pesky little things called feelings enter the picture.

I really did want to enjoy No Strings Attached. It had a good cast, a funny looking trailer, a nice role reversal going on, and it was R rated, the best rating a comedy can achieve. All it ended up turning itself into was a boring, generic film directed by the guy who made Ghostbusters.

The role reversal could have thrown a curve ball into the plot, but it still was something we have seen before. The difference obviously was it was the woman making all the wrong choices this time. That disguise does not hide the lazy writing and linear path the film took on. It has its moments where it makes you laugh or tugs at your heart a bit, but sitting through 120 minutes of footage just to see five of them just is not worth the time. I still cannot believe I expected something different to happen here; it sucks because the rare ones that end up good are great. This one rubbed off on me the wrong way.

These expectations came from its two leads. Portman, coming off her brilliant performance in Black Swan, gets to relax and turn in a casual performance. This film made me realize that she can be a funny gal, but only in small doses. Watching her try and pull a laugh out of you was dreadful to watch. She should keep to the dramatic roles and if she wants to be funny, stick to the skits and cameos. On the other hand, Ashton Kutcher has made his living off of these roles. I am not afraid to admit I have enjoyed a handful of his films, but this is not one of them. These two alone did not have enough chemistry to hold the film together from its terrible supporting cast. This is one of the rare occurrences when not even a single supporting character even came close to impacting the film. It was cringe-worthy watching them try and say one-liners.

All that needs to be said about No Strings Attached is that it's a romantic comedy that is neither romantic, nor funny. It is nothingness.

Overall Score: 3.5/10